Here are some more apparently true stories from personnel professionals
“When I asked him about his hobbies, he stood up and started tap dancing around my office.”
“… bounced up and down on my carpet and told me I must be highly thought of by the company because I was given such a thick carpet.”
“At the end of the interview, while I stood there dumbstruck, went through my purse, took out a brush, brushed his hair, and left.”
“… pulled out a Polaroid camera and snapped a flash picture of me. Said he collected photos of everyone who interviewed him.”
“Without saying a word, candidate stood up and walked out during the middle of the interview.”
“Stated that, if he were hired, he would demonstrate his loyalty by having the corporate logo tattooed on his forearm.”
“Interrupted to phone his therapist for advice on answering specific interview questions.”
“… wouldn’t get out of the chair until I would hire him. I had to call the police.”
“Applicant said he was so well-qualified that if he didn’t get the job, it would prove that the company’s management was incompetent.“
“Applicant stretched out on the floor to fill out the job application.“
“Candidate brought her large dog to the interview.“
“She wore a Walkman and said she could listen to me and the music at the same time.“
“Applicant challenged interviewer to arm wrestle.“
“Candidate announced she hadn’t had lunch and proceeded to eat a hamburger and french fries in the interviewer’s office.“
Reasons for leaving the last job
“Responsibility makes me nervous.”
“They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 every morning. Couldn’t work under those conditions.”
“Was met with a string of broken promises and lies, as well as cockroaches.”
“The company made me a scapegoat – just like my three previous employers.”
Quotes from real resumes
“I am extremely loyal to my present firm, so please don’t let them know of my immediate availability.”
“Qualifications: I am a man filled with passion and integrity, and I can act on short notice. I’m a class act and do not come cheap.”
“I intentionally omitted my salary history. I’ve made money and lost money. I’ve been rich and I’ve been poor. I prefer being rich.”
“Note: Please don’t misconstrue my 14 jobs as ‘job-hopping’. I have never quit a job.”
